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Top Ten List why Letterman picks on Oakland - Brenda Payton

OAFC BBS - All Topics: Archive: Top Ten List why Letterman picks on Oakland - Brenda Payton
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message   By diamond_lil on Friday, January 17, 2003 - 11:01 am:

http://www.oaklandtribune.com/Stories/0,1413,82~1726~1117566,00.html

Article Last Updated: Friday, January 17, 2003 - 3:59:38 AM MST

Why Letterman picks on Oakland

SO OAKLAND made David Letterman's Top Ten List again this week. Monday night, our city was featured twice in the Top Ten Jets' Excuses (for the football-challenged, that would be the New York Jets' excuses for losing to the Oakland Raiders in the division playoffs).

Reason No. 4: Bus ride to Oakland took a lot out of the team. That was harmless enough, if somewhat lame. It was Reason No. 1 that stung: Wanted to do something nice for Oakland fans. After all, they have to live in Oakland.

Ouch. Never mind that most Oakland, meaning Raiders, fans don't live in Oakland, but come from as far away as Modesto to root for their team. Never mind that hundreds of thousands of Oaklanders wouldn't live anywhere else.

Facts aside, a put-down on national television hurts. Particularly when you are image-challenged like we are.

And it wasn't the first time.

You might recall, back in December 2001, Jason "Traitor" Giambi, formerly of the Oakland A's, gave his top 10 reasons for selling out to the New York Yankees. Reason No. 3: Have you ever been (emphasis added) to Oakland? Ouch.

I could ask what a big famous, filthy rich guy like Letterman has against our poor little town. I could come up with my own list:

Top 10 Reasons Letterman Picks on Oakland:

10. The 2002 Season of the New York Yankees

9. The 2002 Season of the New York Jets

8. He's never been to Oakland

7. He thought he was going to Oakland but bought a ticket to Auckland

6. He always wanted to wear one of the Black Panthers' black berets but they wouldn't let him join

5. He was walking around Lake Merritt and sprained his ankle when he slipped on some goose poop

4. He tried to buy a pair of pantyhose and had to go to Emeryville

3. He's a big famous filthy rich guy and he can pick on anyone he wants

2. He cut the salaries of his joke writers and now this is the lame material they come up with

And Reason No. 1:

1. He's tried for years to speak Ebonics but everyone thinks he's speaking Ukrainian

I could come up with such a list but I won't. I have a better idea. Why doesn't Mayor Jerry Brown extend an invitation to Letterman to come to Oakland?

He could take him around and show him all the wonderful locations that make this city so special.

He could share with Letterman how he fell in love with our town and gave up his campaign against the corrupt capitalist system to lobby for a military school and more police.

I can see it now. Oakland's beauty and diversity highlighted for the national television audience to see. Letterman could even spend a week touring our fair city.

And so here's a list: Top Ten Locations Brown can show Letterman

10. The Black Hole (for the football-challenged, the Black Hole is an area in the end zone where the most berserk Raiders fans sit)

9. The Big Apple Deli on Franklin Street, where Khalil is much cooler than Rupert G, the Deli Guy

8. The Gap store downtown to do some shopping, which will be the only shopping he will be able to do downtown

7. There

6. 71st and Hamilton in East Oakland, where Brown can threaten to leave him if he doesn't stop picking on us

5. Bungee jumping off the cranes at the port followed by green tea, Zen meditation and yoga at Brown's loft

4. The Black Panther Historical Tour, where Letterman can finally buy one of those black berets he's always wanted

3. A moonlit gondola ride on Lake Merritt, where they can share stories about their bald-headed sidekicks

2. The Hell's Angels' headquarters, where Brown can threaten to leave him if he doesn't stop picking on us

And Location No. 1:

1. Rockridge, where everyone pretends they live in Berkeley

I say we make lemonade out of lemons. Invite Letterman to see for himself.

And we shouldn't forget that adage saying there's no such thing as bad publicity, as long as they spell your name right. (After living with Oakland's bad reputation for 20 some years, I'm not sure I agree.) Just don't spell it Auckland.

Brenda Payton's column appears in the local section on Tuesdays and Fridays and on the opinion page on Sundays.

Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message   By dorrit on Friday, January 17, 2003 - 07:38 pm:

I always enjoy Payton's column-but this one is especially good.

Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message   By fansince79 on Friday, January 17, 2003 - 08:43 pm:

Yes, she is one, at least, who truly says it like it is. Cliche, but she does.

Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message   By eyleenn on Friday, January 17, 2003 - 10:20 pm:

The word "acerbic" comes to mind. Great column!

Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message   By diamond_lil on Saturday, January 18, 2003 - 11:21 am:

I think Letterman's jokes writer is obsessed with Oakland...

Last night he again mentioned Oakland and the Raiders on his top ten list.

The top ten ways Sadam can spend his weekend:

number eight: (paraphrased) 'Put on his Darth Vader mask and fly to Oakland to watch his beloved Raiders'

LOL!!!!

Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message   By diamond_lil on Monday, January 20, 2003 - 12:00 pm:

Dorrit, thanks again for bringing this one to our attention. Here it goes...

http://www.oaklandtribune.com/Stories/0,1413,82~1726~1123296,00.html

Article Last Updated: Monday, January 20, 2003 - 4:11:19 AM MST



David Letterman has told one too many Oakland jokes


Poor David Letterman. Ever since he bombed at the Oscars a few years ago, he's been struggling to get back the groove that once made him a darling of late-show television viewers. Even Madonna won't give him the time of day anymore.

But now he's so desperate for laughs that he apparently is trying to do to Oakland what Johnnny Carson once did to downtown Burbank -- make it a national laughing stock.

It started in December 2000, when he managed to get high-priced mercenary Jason Giambi to take a nasty cut against the city and fans who used to worship him almost to the point of embarassment. With Oakland still feeling the raw pain of his defection from the A's to those damn New York Yankees, Giambi had to rub salt into the wounds when he gave his top 10 reasons for leaving. It was that third reason that smarted so -- "Have you ever been to Oakland?"

Then Letterman struck again. On the Monday night after the Raiders broke New York's heart by trouncing the Jets again, Letterman felt obliged to take another cheap shot against Oakland. After rattling off nine of the 10 top excuses the Jets had for losing that game, he threw out Reason No. 1: "Wanted to do something nice for Oakland fans. After all, they have to live in Oakland."

Well, we in Oakland don't have to take it anymore. It's time to let Letterman know that although our city may be considerably smaller than New York and has more than its share of problems, our heart is just as big as the Big Apple's and our pride as huge as Texas.

Oakland Tribune columnist Brenda Payton threw down the gauntlet last week when she came up with her own Top 10 Reasons Letterman Picks on Oakland, followed by the Top 10 Locations Oakland Mayor Jerry Brown can show Letterman.

Payton suggested Letterman be invited to come see for himself the city he so cavalierly jokes about for a few cheap laughs.

That's where you come in. Tell us the one place in Oakland that Letterman simply must see to know what we're all about so he'll understand the stupidness of his jokes. Send an e-mail to mdianda@angnewspapers.com or write to Editor, Oakland Tribune, P.O. Box 2884, Oakland, CA 94604.

We'll send Letterman those letters and see what happens. Who knows, with a little knowledge he might even start being funny again.

There.

Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message   By fansince79 on Monday, January 20, 2003 - 05:45 pm:

take him to the black hole to watch a champoionship football team in action

Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message   By dorrit on Monday, January 20, 2003 - 06:12 pm:

I sent an e-mail!

Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message   By gregorymark on Monday, January 20, 2003 - 07:19 pm:

The top ten ways Sadam can spend his weekend:
number eight: (paraphrased) 'Put on his Darth Vader mask and fly to Oakland to watch his beloved Raiders'


Watching the camera pans of the Black Hole, I said to my son, "Looks like the army of Isengard."


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